Bitter Cooper Lashes Out at Sanders, Spicer for New Jobs on TV

The liberal media were irate Thursday and became the physical embodiment of the internet’s so-called “cancel culture” in the wake of news that former Trump press secretaries Sarah Sanders and Sean Spicer got new jobs on TV.

During that night’s edition of the unfunny “Ridiculist” on AC360, CNN host Anderson Cooper bitterly lashed out at the two, declaring: “Tonight, let there be no doubt that big, shiny, elegant, gold-plated opportunities, gorgeous opportunities await those who deceive the country on behalf of President Trump.”

Of course, CNN likes to downplay the fact that they and the rest of the liberal media clamor to hire press secretaries from Democratic administrations (CNN had Jay Carney on payroll for a period of time and currently has Joe Lockhart on staff while ABC hired George Stephanopoulos).

Now, where can you go after lying repeatedly, daily, hourly,” he sneered. “Try to contain your shock, Fox News as a contributor. That’s right. Sanders, she brings a wide range of skills to her new post. Oh, that’s right, she’s a double threat. She goes from stonewalling all the way to lying.”

After playing a series of soundbites of President Trump and Sanders, Cooper mocked Trump for once saying he would knock a guy out (click “expand”):

[In mocking voice] Yeah, I’m going to punch him in the face. I don’t think – He’s never punched anybody. He’s not a tough guy. Nor am I. I mean, I wouldn’t know what to do. But, I don’t go around saying I’m going to punch him in the face with my hands. I don’t know why I’m talking like that.

Trump would have gone to Vietnam, not for those pesky bone spurs. He doesn’t have bone spurs in his hands tough. He could punch with those. He would make a good general according to himself.

 

 

Shifting his ire to Spicer, Cooper suggested the former Press Secretary was “the first Three Stooges stunt double to ever become press secretary.” Remember, CNN refuses to admit their prime time line up were opinion shows.

“Sean Spicer is going to be on the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, yeah, one, two, cha, cha, cha! Brace yourselves cha, cha, cha,” Cooper ripped the announcement of Spicer appearing on Dancing with the Stars. “Delightful! Delightful! Grim, just grim.”

Interestingly, Cooper might want people to forget about his own stint on junk reality TV when he hosted The Mole on ABC.

“And oh yeah, if you’ve been wondering what Sean Spicer has been up to since he got laughed out of the bushes outside the White House, which you probably haven’t been wondering, he also had a gig for special correspondent for the frontline of night entertainment shows, Extra,” he chided.

He concluded: “Bottle line: Work for the government. Scam the public. Live off the taxpayers and you, too, can get a job on television.

Someone might want to inform Cooper of all the former Obama administration officials his network had hired, like former advisers David Axelrod and Jen Psaki who make frequent appearances on Cooper’s show.

The transcript is below, click “expand” to read:

CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360
August 22, 2019
8:55:35 p.m. Eastern

ANDERSON COOPER: Time now for the Ridiculist. Tonight, let there be no doubt that big, shiny, elegant, gold-plated opportunities, gorgeous opportunities await those who deceive the country on behalf of President Trump. That’s right, latest White House alumnus to try to salvage something of a career is Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Now, where can you go after lying repeatedly, daily, hourly. I don’t know about hourly. But often. Sarah Sanders announced today she’s boarding judge Jeanine Pirro’s trolley to hell. Toot toot. [Pulls imaginary whistle] And joining, try to contain your shock, Fox News as a contributor. That’s right. Sanders, she brings a wide range of skills to her new post. Oh, that’s right, she’s a double threat. She goes from stonewalling all the way to lying.

(…)

COOPER: [In mocking voice] Yeah, I’m going to punch him in the face. I don’t think – He’s never punched anybody. He’s not a tough guy. Nor am I. I mean, I wouldn’t know what to do. But, I don’t go around saying I’m going to punch him in the face with my hands. I don’t know why I’m talking like that.

Trump would have gone to Vietnam, not for those pesky bone spurs. He doesn’t have bone spurs in his hands tough. He could punch with those. He would make a good general according to himself.

But Sarah Sanders, anyway, ready to bring her looking glass over to Fox News, ready to make some magic with all the President’s friends. You know his list, the really big stars: Lou Dobbs, Hannity, grumpy, sneezy, those guys.

Sanders’ announcement came just a day after we learned that her predecessor Sean Spicer, who might be the first Three Stooges stunt double to ever become press secretary. I haven’t gotten confirmation on that. It’s just kind of – it’s floating out. People are talking, as the President would say. People have said that. A lot of people are talking about it. You know it. They know it.

Sean Spicer is going to be on the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, yeah, one, two, cha, cha, cha! Brace yourselves cha, cha, cha!

UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: Straight from the briefing room is Sean Spicer.

SEAN SPICER: I was kicked out of band in the sixth grade. And the quote was you have the sense of beat of a steam roller.

COOPER: Delightful! Delightful! Grim, just grim. He’s come a long way. It seems like 30 years ago that he barged into the press room yelling about crowd size, setting the tone for the glory that was to come.

(…)

COOPER: I still don’t even know how you get a jacket to do that. I mean, it’s like it was actually trying to escape from his body. By the way, President Trump who reportedly pays little attention to intelligence briefings but apparently does follow Dancing with the Stars tweeted his support tonight. Because, you know, he’s really busy. He has a lot of things to do but he was able to tweet his support saying Spicer is, quote, “a terrific person who loves our country dearly.”

And oh yeah, if you’ve been wondering what Sean Spicer has been up to since he got laughed out of the bushes outside the White House, which you probably haven’t been wondering, he also had a gig for special correspondent for the frontline of night entertainment shows, Extra!

(…)

COOPER: Oooo, what a question? “Do you bring work home?” Spicy! I wonder what the answer was. We’re not going to play the answer? I’m going to have to look it up. So yeah. That’s what he’s been doing apparently. Apparently, the middle square on Hollywood Squares—I guess that’s not even a thing anymore. He can’t even do that.

(…)

Bottle line: Work for the government. Scam the public. Live off the taxpayers and you, too, can get a job on television. In the meantime, you can catch Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders each doing their version of the foxtrot on the Ridiculist.

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